Like many people, especially the younger people today, whatever it is I always want it and I always want it now. Some may say the recent events in England are the manifestation of a generation of people who live like this. Others would argue that there is simply no "long term" for them. I refrain from commenting as I am somewhat lacking in personal wisdom on patience and forward thinking.
This week I have decided to start a new hobby to help me learn/develop/gain/practise* some "patience". With the acquisition of some "Juniper Chinensis" seeds, I have taken my first steps in the art of Bonsai. My first thoughts were of beautiful, miniature trees reflecting the beauty of nature in the outside world in my home. The reality trip was reading that this beauty would take upwards of 10 years to realise. I found myself thinking of the long term. I knew what I wanted but I still wanted it immediately. I knew that I could purchase a Bonsai tree that had already been nurtured, and have it immediately in front of me. This somehow didn't feel right. It didn't feel "true". I knew the satisfaction would not last.
It was at this point that I found some solace in the notion that 10 years of patient nurturing would not merely give me the pleasure promised by an already established and purchased WYSIWYG** tree. My satisfaction would not be from the tree itself, but the inner satisfaction of knowing that what I gain is borne from my mind, efforts, mistakes, learning, perseverance and commitment - and not that of somebody else.
I was struck by the word "mistake" and how important this notion was to me. That I have absolutely no experience of growing Juniperus Chinensis (yet alone in miniature form) and will undoubtedly make mistakes is something that was pivitol in my decision making. It was here that my decision was made between skipping the mistakes and going straight for the end product or opting for something money cannot buy: self-respect.
The thing is I couldn't just go ahead and plant the seeds willy-nilly - I had to plan: to give myself a platform of basic knowledge from which I could build. So I read. I studied. Nothing much, of course, just enough to get to the next level (planting the seeds). And I'm glad I did. I realised I had to soak the seeds for 48 hours and then to cold stratify them for 3-4 months! As we speak, the seeds are wrapped up in small bags with a little Akadama soil and resting in the veg drawer of my fridge until November/December, when I'll be ready to take the next step.
In that time, although it may seem there is "nothing" to do, I can continue to learn and also reflect on what I have done so far. I'm sure I'll read different perspectives on the best way to start a Bonsai tree - all of which may be equally as valid as the next. I may decide that I could have done things differently and there will be nothing stopping me from doing that next time. At the same time, I know that it's going to take time and I will not see whether this method has worked for another nine months - when the seeds germinate.
It was at this point that I found some solace in the notion that 10 years of patient nurturing would not merely give me the pleasure promised by an already established and purchased WYSIWYG** tree. My satisfaction would not be from the tree itself, but the inner satisfaction of knowing that what I gain is borne from my mind, efforts, mistakes, learning, perseverance and commitment - and not that of somebody else.
I was struck by the word "mistake" and how important this notion was to me. That I have absolutely no experience of growing Juniperus Chinensis (yet alone in miniature form) and will undoubtedly make mistakes is something that was pivitol in my decision making. It was here that my decision was made between skipping the mistakes and going straight for the end product or opting for something money cannot buy: self-respect.
In that time, although it may seem there is "nothing" to do, I can continue to learn and also reflect on what I have done so far. I'm sure I'll read different perspectives on the best way to start a Bonsai tree - all of which may be equally as valid as the next. I may decide that I could have done things differently and there will be nothing stopping me from doing that next time. At the same time, I know that it's going to take time and I will not see whether this method has worked for another nine months - when the seeds germinate.
Initially I'll have no control over its growth. My responsibility will lie in nurturing its early development until it grows to be something that I can work with. Then, and only then, will I be able to work and shape it into the form I desire: to use the wisdom and methods of the people who have mastered the art to represent my personality and perception of beauty through the tree.
All of this will take years and I have no guarantee of what will happen nor what I will see before me later on in the process. But that is exactly what it is. A process. A process that cannot be bought over the counter. A process that nobody can do for me. A process that, by the time it has ended, will probably have new methods and approaches based on the new wisdom of today's learners.
Without guarantees of an end product, some may think that it would just be easier to take somebody else's and enjoy it while it lasts. But I know that enjoyment will be short lived. I choose to learn and to make my own end product - warts and all. I choose patience and self-respect.
I'll keep you posted!
J x x x
All of this will take years and I have no guarantee of what will happen nor what I will see before me later on in the process. But that is exactly what it is. A process. A process that cannot be bought over the counter. A process that nobody can do for me. A process that, by the time it has ended, will probably have new methods and approaches based on the new wisdom of today's learners.
Without guarantees of an end product, some may think that it would just be easier to take somebody else's and enjoy it while it lasts. But I know that enjoyment will be short lived. I choose to learn and to make my own end product - warts and all. I choose patience and self-respect.
I'll keep you posted!
J x x x
* delete as you feel appropriate
** what you see is what you get
** what you see is what you get
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